Where Mute Memories Start Talking

DISCLAIMER: The entry below is indeed hypocritical!

I know it sounds a little strange to be saying this on a journal-based social networking site… but I need to find an effective form of self-expression. Everyone reading right now is thinking “wow dumbass, write whatever you want on here and reveal all your emo thoughts to the world,” but that really isn’t the point. If I want to talk about all my issues and receive direct personal therapy, I’ll just talk to my friends. What I’m looking for is a way to blow off steam without involving anyone else, because even I get annoyed when people come to me with the same unsolvable problem over and over and over again. I try my best to avoid doing the same to others.

One of the reasons I enjoy music so much is that it allows for personal interpretation. Almost all music reflects the beliefs and feelings of the composer, but material that is well-written/composed also allows for the listener to fill in details and perspectives of their own life, thus making it possible for one to “relate to” specific songs, artists, etc. My favorite artists are ones whose music I can relate to, though I rarely agree with the lifestyles and personal choices made by those in the music scene. I like to keep it clean.

I’ve tried to write my own material before, but I’m never satisfied with it. I can play both guitar and piano very well, and I would say I have a good ear, but the whole songwriting thing has never really clicked. I have trouble combining the styles of the artists who influence me to create my own niche. Plus, I really don’t think I can write anything better than the stuff I’ve heard already.

So… I think I should find something else. I have no idea what, though. In one of my psych classes I’ve been studying experiments regarding the benefits of expressive writing. Journaling has never really done the trick for me. Posting whiny blogs like this one are never really any fun, either. I feel much more satisfied after posting something witty and clever than after posting one of these. I think this is serious post #3. Not bad.

Another reason why I try to avoid throwing diary entries online for the world to see is because I’m never dealing with anything all that serious. Yeah, I have some problems and concerns, but who doesn’t? The 4-5 biggest things that induce emo-ness in Bobby are problems that everyone has, just in different contexts. Plus, I always feel better in about three days. On Sunday I will look at this and start laughing hysterically.

To close this out, I’m gonna tag this entry as “effective coping strategies” and encourage everyone out there to express themselves, but I’m also going to beg everyone to do it privately, because every time you annoy someone with an emo rant, a kitten dies.

To the four kittens who have passed from this earth during the writing of this entry, rest in peace. May your afterlives be filled with Friskies, catnip, and fresh furniture.

~Keep it real, mah readers.